Overdoing it has landed me in a world of hurt with painful EDS symptoms
Luckily, I know what to do to reduce stress and let my nervous system settle down
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The end of summer: bittersweet. The back-to-school rush: brutal!
These last few weeks have been nothing short of a blurred whirlwind, not just physically exhausting, but emotionally draining as well. How is the new school year already upon us? I must have blinked, but my body is keeping the receipts of all the extra energy I’ve demanded of it. And as I look ahead at the schedule, I can’t help but feel a little nervous dread brewing.
I want to be excited about our kiddos going back to school, but there is still more to do, and my body is angry with me. I know better than to borrow tomorrow’s energy, but I did, and now I’m paying for it. The cold, hard truth is my to-do list doesn’t care how my body feels. The supplies need continual gathering and distributing, the clothing still needs sorting, events still need attending, and the calendar keeps moving even when I need to slow down.
The worst part of this crash isn’t just the pain; it’s the awareness. I knew better. I knew that pushing myself would lead me right to the chair I’m now in. I knew that tackling too much, for too many days in a row, all while ignoring rest and hydration, was a recipe for disaster. I had the map to avoid this crash, and I followed it right into the wall anyway.
I’ve landed in a world of hurt
Living with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and other chronic illnesses (I like to call it the trifecta) means I can’t just get up and go. As I approach my 40s, I am humbled by the amount of careful planning and preparation that must go into each day if I don’t want to experience systemic flares, cumulative crashes, or painfully debilitating symptoms.
I need to prioritize self-care and find ways to support my body, knowing it’s OK to slow down when needed. Which, over the past few months, I have failed miserably at doing. When life gets as busy and demanding as it is right now, I fall into a hurry-up-and-go mentality, and I treat exhaustion as something we should push through.
It’s landed me in a world of hurt.
What I need to do
So I’ve got to let go of that need for everything to be perfect. If I don’t move into an “energy budgeting” cycle, I’m going to experience every consequence of a “push-crash” cycle. By shifting my goal from “performing at 100%” to “sustaining a baseline,” I know I can reduce systemic stress on my body and let my poor nervous system settle a little.
If I want to enjoy what’s left of these precious summer days and move into the new school year with joy and mobility, I will have to make many small choices every day. Right now, life has to be based on adaptations and boundaries. I have to negotiate with my body rather than demand more of it than it can give.
I have to start my day by drinking mineral-salted water for adequate hydration, not just my favorite matcha or chai. I also need to do a better job fueling my body with whole foods, wearing compression garments when the day requires a lot of walking or standing, and, most importantly, listening to my body when it asks to rest before I’m utterly exhausted.
I also need to break my remaining tasks down into smaller, more achievable daily goals, which may mean asking my husband to tackle a task or two that I would normally do, or letting him drive when we need to go into town. Any little way I can conserve energy will help me in the long run. I need to remember that I don’t have to accomplish everything in one day and that it’s OK to ask for help.
I can’t get back the energy I borrowed or erase the crash I’m in right now, but I can set boundaries, hydrate-hydrate-hydrate, and use discipline to slow down before the wall hits again.
Note: Ehlers-Danlos News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Ehlers-Danlos News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Ehlers-Danlos.
V Arvon
Sooo easy to do, I find myself in the same spot. Then I got mad that I have to work so much harder than others just to maintain, so I rebelled and ignored even more of my self care. Back on track today.
Lacy Rosenbaum
Thank you for reading my column, V! Oh my goodness, isn't that vicious cycle so relatable? I hope you find new grace for yourself every day :)
-Lacy
Norma Hutchison
This lady is so on point. I was an A type personality, career woman when injuries occured due to my hypermobile joints which I never recovered from (whiplash injuries, cars which hit us). I had young children with their own health issues at the time. Long story short - I was in a perpetual cycle of ups and downs. When feeling better, I pushed over my body's limits as I hated being behind on tasks, or simply had to push as it was medical issues with our children. It took working with a Psychologist -whose patients were people with chronic pain (and the elderly, interestingly)- for me to understand I had to adjust how I did tasks to live a better quality life. Asking for help from a spouse, family member, or friend is key! And critical also is letting go of less important tasks, and not feeling guilty about it! We have to meet our bodies where they are; that it the best long term approach
Lacy Rosenbaum
Hi, Norma, thank you for sharing your story. It's oddly comforting to know we are not alone in our journeys. Especially while mothering children, I too have a few children with their own medical issues, stemming from this connective tissue disorder as well. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for your insight, and you're absolutely right.. It is so helpful to let go of the little things and the guilt that follows.
Thanks for reading my column!
-Lacy