The consequences of holiday stress when living with EDS
To handle issues with my body and emotions, I tend to each part of my system
The last couple of weeks have been fun, but stressful. I love the holiday season, but that doesn’t mean that the business and stress of it all doesn’t get to me. I had a blast with my brother and his family, but since they live abroad, we try to pack as much as possible into the time they’re here.
That means that when they head home, I’m exhausted — even more so than usual with my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS). My bodyworker was also sick over the holidays, so I missed one of my scheduled massages. By the time things settled down and I was able to get that treatment, I was definitely feeling my EDS, both physically and emotionally.
Physically, it’s been cold and I’ve been going flat out, and I could feel both in my body. My back was sore, my bad right shoulder flared up, and my right hand was so tight that when I tried to relax it, my fingers still made a half-fist. That came from a combination of tension running down from the shoulder into my elbow, and then from my surgically repaired finger radiating up. Those two things combined made the muscles in my forearm exceptionally tight, which was what caused the hand tension.
Working my way back to normal
Working out those muscles was painful, but made a massive difference in my comfort. And since my body seems to be connected like a marionette’s, my massage therapist has to work on each piece for it all to relax. If she didn’t help my hand and forearm feel better, we wouldn’t be able to sort out the trigger points in my right shoulder. And if we weren’t able to resolve my right shoulder, we’d struggle to make progress on my left shoulder. And so on.
It can be hard when everything seems so intertwined. In addition to these physical issues connecting with one another, any soreness I feel tends to cause my EDS-related anxiety to get worse. It’s tough when my whole body hurts, as it also tends to make me more tired. When I’m tired, I have a tendency to see small issues as huge obstacles. And that increases my stress level. That completes a circle that can easily snowball if I don’t recognize it and put on the brakes.
Just as I have to take a multilayered approach to sort things out physically, I’ve learned I need to do the same thing emotionally. To lessen my anxiety, I need to work on my physical pain, get plenty of sleep, and talk things out, even if they seem silly. It’s amazing how much having a methodical talk about what’s going on can help me regain perspective when my anxiety starts to skew things into bigger problems than they really are.
Life can be stressful, and clashes of different EDS symptoms can lead to both a pain flare and extra anxiety. It’s important for me to understand those pieces and how they fit together. It helps me to create a plan to tackle them piece by piece, which is much more manageable than looking at my struggles as one big thing to handle. Sometimes it’s those small steps that help me make the biggest progress when I hit a speed bump.
Note: Ehlers-Danlos News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Ehlers-Danlos News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Ehlers-Danlos.
About the Author
Annika Stridh
Thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to read this today. I'm about to move to another apartment and all the preperation makes me tired both physicly and mentaly. So every evening my axienty takes over my brain as a sign that I have been doing way to much during the day. Thank you for describing it so well.
/Annika in Sweden
HSD/hEDS
Kim Kirschbaum
Hi Annika! My name is Kim, and I understand about moving. We moved to another house last year after 30+ years in our previous home, so we have a ridiculous amount of belongings! I hope to never go through that again…my advice: hire help as much as possible. I wish I had known I could have hired professional packers to pack up all clothing, household goods, books, everything for us. Act as supervisor of the move, telling everyone you’ve hired what to do, from a comfy chair! You can set the pace, too, fast or slow.
If I could ask— what type of treatments/doctors do EDS patients use in Sweden? We generally have very poor care here in the USA. I end up educating all my doctors, since they have no idea what EDS even is. It’s very frustrating and sad. Has anything you’ve tried improved your symptoms? I sincerely hope so. Thank you!
Jane Willoughby Woods
I connected with this article. Holiday decorating took almost a week and it was just a tree and a few things one room. It took almost as long to pack it all away. As I get older, I give myself a bit more grace. A slower pace and enjoying the small special moments along the way, keeps me sane. It's comforting to know others understand my struggle with pain and everyday life.
Robyn C
I felt like I wrote this! Minus shoulder pain. Mine is neck back & hands. My whole body hurts more cuz of our bitter cold temps! Over the past 6 months I have been working part time. I work on my feet 5 hrs a day. My hips knees & ankles throb after! Every hour I work it feels like 2. But I love my job.
Sally Richards
Another great column, thank you!
Stress has been my middle name since my mother passed a bit over a year ago. Taking care of the estate has been a strain. The first firm was a nightmare, the second firm is dragging its feet and getting billing wrong. I mean, how do you tell these attorneys that every wrong move I have to catch, and every time I have to call to ask them the status of the case, it sets an immeasurable amount of stress upon the bricks already on the rest of my body. Over the last four months my insurance company here in America decided it didn't want to work with the hospital network I am in and had been systematically not approving anything, I have turned them in for that. I had a knee replacement scheduled, colonoscopy, home physical therapy, spine surgery, procedures for my aortic aneurysm and two shoulder replacements looked into. All of this, and tens of thousands of people out of their network because of this insurance company that said it didn't like the way the hospital did paperwork. I was a mess over the holidays — I am in awe that you got your decorating done :) Kudos to you!!! Outsiders don't see what a task that can really be for EDSers. I did not get any decorating done, thank Goddess my daughter was home from university to help with the holiday dinners. Barely managed to get presents ordered and wrapped. Actually, still sending out presents.
I've been upping my meditation time on headphones and heating pads and a ton of very soft pillows to prop me up in all the right places has and is helping a great deal. In the last month, I've noticed what feels like fractures on top of my fingers. I need to look into that.... More appointments. Good thing is, my new insurance kicks in next month and then have to get my dream team (at least a few of them, looking forward to training the new ones. Four of my doctors actually quit because the hospital has a whole lot less patients) back onto schedules. I am REALLY looking forward to spring. It has been a damn cold winter in so many ways. Looking forward to June 20. This year, I am starting Winter Solstice and Christmas November 10. Good thing we get a live tree <3 Karen, thank you for your columns, it's always nice to know I'm not alone in this. You rock.