Why I am no longer thinking of myself as ‘a mess’ due to EDS
My physical therapist shared a perspective I hadn't considered before
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I suspect that many of us with chronic conditions use self-deprecating humor to cope with our frustrations. For me, it’s a way to show others that while my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) can be challenging sometimes, it won’t keep me from doing what I want to do.
A few months ago, I was talking with one of my physical therapists (PTs) at the beginning of a session, and he asked me how I was feeling. I went through my usual litany of problems: My right shoulder was causing me trouble, my plantar fasciitis was acting up, my shattered finger was sore, and my vagus nerve was irritated. I finished with a laugh. “Basically, I’m just a mess!”
Usually that lifts the tension and we have a good chuckle, but this time, the reaction was different. My PT kindly said, “No, you’re not. There are things we need to work on, but that doesn’t mean you’re a mess.” Another PT added that instead of “a mess,” she would call me “funky, but functional.” It was a perspective I hadn’t considered before.
While I’ve never thought that calling myself a mess was a negative thing, I appreciated this new way of looking at my health. Even though I can’t do certain things the textbook way, I’ve learned to adjust, cope, and manage my limitations to minimize their impact. As a result, I’m still putting my best foot forward, despite all my physical health issues.
To me, being “funky, but functional” is an example of realistic positivity. For too long, I thought that positivity meant ignoring what’s wrong and pretending to be happy. I’ve since learned that this approach is known as “false positivity” or “toxic positivity.” Ignoring the difficult parts of life isn’t healthy, but neither is focusing on them. Instead, realistic positivity is recognizing what’s hard, working through it, and choosing to focus on the positive.
Thinking of myself as “funky, but functional” doesn’t dismiss the effects of EDS, but it still allows me to focus on what I can do instead of what I can’t. While humor will always be an important part of how I manage EDS, this experience reminded me that there are other helpful perspectives.
“Funky, but functional” seems like the type of slogan that could appear on a T-shirt or become the next viral hashtag. It lets everyone know that chronic illness may make me different, but it won’t keep me down!
Note: Ehlers-Danlos News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Ehlers-Danlos News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Ehlers-Danlos.
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