Giving thanks for the Labor Day lesson to respect my limits and rest
With hives and other complications, I had to accept help from others
After a rough couple of weeks, the past few days have been an exercise in remembering to listen to my body and take the time I need to heal, as I’ve been recovering from what was likely a case of COVID-19 and a nasty fall caused by the antics of a crotchety rooster.
I don’t like to lay low, sit still, or otherwise have my Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) tell me no. But sometimes I have to remember that it’s OK to say “no for now” so that, in time, I can go back to saying yes.
As I pushed through to reach the long Labor Day weekend, I knew I’d have some flexibility to rest before going back to work the following Tuesday. I’m very much a push-through-it kind of person, but since I was covered with hives and the temperatures outside were in the upper 80s and 90s, I didn’t really have the option of going outdoors. I knew I needed some help.
Allowing myself to be supported
The problem I have accepting help isn’t the fact that I need it; I appreciate that we all need help sometimes, and I’m thankful that I have people in my life who are happy to jump in when necessary. But I feel bad because I know they’re often changing their schedule or missing out on something to help me.
I try to remind myself that helping others is what makes community and family. I know that I don’t feel put out when someone else needs help; on the contrary, I’m always happy to lend a hand. That instinctual response spurs me to remember that others likely feel the same way about helping me.
My mom’s support — in addition to taking on my daily farm chores, like feeding and caring for the animals — also let me take the time to relax and heal. I’m epically bad at that, but having someone practically force me to take it easy helped me respect my physical limits. Every day I rested was another step forward.
I had trouble sitting on the couch in air conditioning or emptying the dishwasher while someone was out sweating in the heat to do my chores. But I had to remind myself that it was OK. Taking a few days to heal would help me feel better more quickly than if I’d pushed too hard and overdone it. That would only further delay my ability to get back to my routines.
Thankfully, I was surrounded by wonderful people who helped me through that tough week. With the support of my family, friends, and colleagues, I knew that my animals weren’t the only ones under care and safe. So was I.
It wound up being 10 days after the hives started — and probably about three weeks from when I started feeling not so good — until I woke up like myself again. It was hard for me to say no for a few weeks, but I’m grateful I can now say yes.
Note: Ehlers-Danlos News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Ehlers-Danlos News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Ehlers-Danlos.
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Comments
Val A
That "push through," I think, is an adaptation we EDS-ers develop to keep up with normies. It served me well day to day for many years, but it made me blind to my limits. 10 years of overwork, overcompensation, conflict, and grief during a series of family crises brought on a total collapse that I have never fully recovered from, when I was about your age. I notice that anytime I somewhat recover, the next big stressor brings me down again, with a recovery that's less full than the last one. Covid made all of that worse. About one day a week now I need a "shelter in cave" recovery day where I barely have energy to move from the couch.